i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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