A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
