David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
ttyl tear gas
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
