he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
