Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
