I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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