haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
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My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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