yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
