If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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