you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
