When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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