therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
