im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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