Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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