the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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