He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.