Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.

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(301): Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel. http://tfl.nu/b636

Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (4006)
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(619): View more from California

If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

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(619): If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library. http://tfl.nu/gs64

Replies (59) Good night (1016) Bad night (3725)
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(256): View more from Alabama

So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.

(256): View more from Alabama

that was the beginning of the end.

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(256): So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school. (256): that was the beginning of the end. http://tfl.nu/usmt

Replies (23) Good night (692) Bad night (3528)
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(903): View more from Texas

I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.

(214): View more from Texas

kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.

(903): View more from Texas

I'll be there in 10

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(903): I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem. (214): kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night. (903): I'll be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/kykh

Replies (19) Good night (5921) Bad night (758)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it

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(215): i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it http://tfl.nu/rarj

Replies (14) Good night (7109) Bad night (676)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes

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(902): You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes http://tfl.nu/flaw

Replies (26) Good night (1958) Bad night (4224)
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(210): View more from Texas

Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall

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(210): Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall http://tfl.nu/30d7

Replies (5) Good night (2314) Bad night (888)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now

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(403): Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now http://tfl.nu/l7gb

Replies (11) Good night (3617) Bad night (1089)
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(206): View more from Washington

What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.

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(206): What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world. http://tfl.nu/0k4m

Replies (11) Good night (1393) Bad night (501)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min

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(775): He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min http://tfl.nu/44lr

Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (733)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.

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(970): I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/hol9

Replies (6) Good night (2551) Bad night (833)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.

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(309): I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game. http://tfl.nu/d55q

Replies (7) Good night (1019) Bad night (427)
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(248): View more from Michigan

PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.

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(248): PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW. http://tfl.nu/5tmy

Replies (7) Good night (1075) Bad night (377)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4

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(706): I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4 http://tfl.nu/1te5

Replies (7) Good night (319) Bad night (567)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant

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(715): while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant http://tfl.nu/24gg

Replies (4) Good night (942) Bad night (282)

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