You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize