oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
