im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
