what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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