3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
