I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
