I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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