He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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