My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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