What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize