do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
