I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
God, I missed his penis.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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