Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning