he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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