you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
