She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
