I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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