It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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