She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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