Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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