fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
