is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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