It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
