remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
