Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
