Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
