i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
