i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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