worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
