Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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