Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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