im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So much rum. So many feels.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
