He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
