i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
