so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
