My room smells like vodka and shame
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
