I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize