she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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