dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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