yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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