absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
