I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize