Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
