I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk