Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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