next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
