So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
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I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Come share oat with me in your robe