Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.