If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
