I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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