If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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