If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
