Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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