There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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