Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
