You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
