oh god the rape fog is back!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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