I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
