Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
